What We Quit on Our Career Break Trip — and Found Life Transformation

Four years ago this week, Lance announced on Facebook that we were calling it quits. He, being his “witty” self, left it up to people’s imagination on what we were quitting. Many people imagined that we were done with our marriage and called me to check in on me early that Friday morning. To those people, thank you for caring so much about me and sorry again about Lance’s “humor.”

Now looking back, this monumental moment became a “before the trip” event, just like COVID, because so much changed. We stopped a lot of things that did not fit for us and opened our eyes to reality in a way that we cannot “unknow” anymore. What started as a career break travel adventure turned into something far bigger: a full life transformation that rewired how we see success, time, fear, and each other.

Things We Quit on Our Six-Month Trip (that turned into 4 months) to Europe

1. We Quit the Ladder Climb and Learned to Redefine Success on Our Own Terms

At work, I felt that I needed to constantly “move up.” Either go to a larger nonprofit with a larger budget, have more team members support me (even though I could not stand being a manager), or take a new position because of its title.

See, I had this belief that my achievement was based on these success measures. The ladder became my measuring stick of my value.

In reality, we were so much more than the ladder that people placed in front of us. Learning to redefine success on your own terms is not a radical act. It is an honest one.

Read this Harvard Business Review about how Burnout has been normalized

2.We Quit Letting Other People Define Our Dreams

We allowed judges, our bosses, and the benefits packages to confine our dreams. We limited our dreams based on the fact that we could only travel so many days a year because of our companies’ vacation policy, and we had to be at the mercy of judges since they controlled when Lance had to be in court.

We also limited ourselves to what was the “normal” salary for someone with our experience.

We told ourselves we needed to wait until retirement to really travel.

We believed that six months off would “ruin” our careers.

We thought people would judge us for choosing experience over accumulation.

The only permission slip we needed was our own. The boxes that other people built for us? They were never locked. We were just afraid to push on the door.

 

Read how many Americans don’t use their time off and are vacation-deprived by US Travel Association

3. We Quit Speed: How Slow Travel in Europe Changed Everything

We quit feeling that we needed to be productive every day. This was a hard one for Lance because he felt that if we were in a location, we had to explore the whole time. I picked up this lesson early. I wanted lazy mornings. I wanted time to just “live” and enjoy the cafes.

We quit rushing through meals. We chatted with the restaurant team. We had drinks with them. We were curious about their lives.

In Croatia, having coffee on Saturday is a 2+ hour event. It was about connecting with the people you care about.

We stopped photographing every moment and started being in more of them.

We learned that doing nothing is not the same as wasting time. That right there might be the most underrated part of learning how to live your best life.

4. We Quit Postponing Our Dreams and Started Living Our Best Life

During the COVID pandemic, I lost my father and many people lost loved ones. We learned that tomorrow is not guaranteed, so we stopped saying “Someday when…” or “When work slows down” or even “When we have $XXX in our bank account.”

And guess what? Even though we did not have our ideal amount in our bank, things worked out and we even earned money, which added to the bottom line.

Finding excuses to not do something is holding you back. Trust that things will work out and embrace the unknown.

5. We Quit Allowing Fear to Control Our Career Break Travel Plans

Not knowing how things will work out can prevent you from doing the things you want. For us, the fear of not knowing enough about the country was trying to block us.

But we stood up to the fear.

We were afraid we’d run out of money, but we learned to adapt and even found ways to earn along the way.

We were afraid we wouldn’t know the language, but we discovered that kindness is universal and people meet you halfway.

We were afraid we’d regret leaving our jobs, but we found that our skills didn’t disappear; they expanded.

We were afraid of what people would think, but the people who mattered celebrated us, and the ones who didn’t… well, their opinions didn’t pay our bills or fill our days.

Fear will always show up. We just didn’t have to let it drive. Have courage to grow.

6. How Our Life Transformation Trip Opened Our Eyes to How We See the World and We Quit Seeing Other’s

In every country, people wanted to discuss what was happening in the US. The politics, the systems, the trends. At first, I must say, I was very frustrated. I left the US to forget what was going on here.

But they had so many questions. I had to ask myself why. It’s because what happens here in the US bleeds over to other countries. For me, it brought on a self-awareness that we, as US citizens, need to take on this privilege and reflect more on how we behave.

And something shifted.

We quit seeing “other countries” as other.

We started seeing how connected we all are.

The global economy isn’t a theory. It’s the café owner in Portugal adjusting prices because of inflation across borders.

Political unrest isn’t a headline. It’s someone’s neighbor fleeing, rebuilding, hoping.

We began to understand that what happens in our zip code doesn’t stay in our zip code.

The choices we make.

The policies we vote for.

The way we spend and the way we consume.

And how our decisions ripple.