This week, I want to talk about the importance of connection in our lives. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I have what I call a “joy recipe.” It’s a collection of essential ingredients that contribute to joy and happiness. Much like a cookie recipe, there are some basic elements that we all need—like flour, butter, and eggs. Similarly, we all need certain things to feel joy in life.
One of the key ingredients in my joy recipe is connection. It’s about relationships with your friends, your community, your family—anyone you support and who supports you in return.

Learning Who Your True Friends Are

Exactly a year ago, I learned a tough lesson about friendship and connection. As someone who’s naturally a big giver, I realized who truly cared about me and who was simply taking from me. Growing up, I learned from my generous mother to always give. I’ve always gone out of my way to help and support the people I consider friends. But the truth is, givers often struggle to recognize true friends because we tend to overlook takers and mistakenly see them as friends.

However, a true friendship is about both giving and receiving. It’s reciprocal. A year ago, I expected those I had been there for time and time again to show up for me when I needed them most. To my disappointment, they didn’t. Some reached out with a quick text a week later to check in, but as many of you know, a text can reveal the depth of a friendship. A text message can create emotional distance, signaling that the person isn’t fully present or invested in your feelings.

The Power of Inclusion and Living Aligned with Your Values

What made this even harder is that inclusion is one of my core values. I love surrounding myself with a diverse group of people because I grow, learn, and am challenged by different perspectives. But after that difficult time, I realized that the people who made an effort to connect with me were those who shared my beliefs and faith. My friends with a strong Christian faith were the ones who checked in, while my more diverse circle faded away.

This realization shook me. Why? Because living in alignment with your values is a crucial part of my joy recipe, and my value of inclusion felt compromised. My inclusive community seemed to disappear after the events of October 7, leaving me questioning what inclusion really means for me moving forward.

Can People with Different Beliefs Truly Be Allies?

I reached out to some of my more diverse friends, sharing my thoughts and asking how they were doing. Some listened in the moment, but the conversations didn’t continue. This made me wonder: Can people of different faiths truly be allies during times of conflict? It’s a question much like, “Can boys really be friends with girls?”

I choose to believe the answer is yes. I need that to be true because living in alignment with my value of inclusion is non-negotiable for me. But I know I’ll need to rethink how I build those connections moving forward.

Embracing Connection and Choosing Level 6 Energy

Despite these challenges, I choose to stay in what I call “Level 6 Energy.” This level reminds me that we are all one. We are all children of God, and many of us share common roots as descendants of Abraham. I bleed red, and so do they. I need clean air and water, and so do they. At the core, we are all the same.
I may not have all the answers, but I do believe that people can get along, love, and respect each other—even when they view the world through different lenses.

Finding Inspiration in My Children

My children are showing me this. They see things from completely different perspectives, yet their conversations are rich and full of learning. One of them wears blue lenses, and the other wears green, but they understand that both perspectives can be valid. They respect each other because they focus on the humans being impacted by the conflict, not just their own viewpoints.

Moving Forward with Intention and Connection

Where does all of this leave me? Recently, my movement class instructor shared this quote from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle:
“Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and your ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

This quote reminds me to continue fostering connections with people who value both giving and receiving. It also means being more mindful of who I invest my time and energy into. While I won’t abandon my value of inclusion—I can’t, because it’s who I am—I will redefine what that value looks like in practice.
The universe is always working in my favor when I choose to accept the present moment rather than fight against it. I’m excited to see what this year will bring and how I’ll continue to grow as a person.